Mr. Grumpy Comes To Town

The other day I was in a Royal Farms store near our church. If you don’t know, Royal Farms is a chain of convenience stores all over Maryland. Their great little stops with snack foods, coffee and a deli. It’s not a fancy place, just a great place to grab a quick bite to eat and a newspaper or whatever.

I walked in and turned left to grab a bag of chips and a sweet ice tea, after which I headed to the front to order my main entrée, an all beef hotdog. As I was walking up the isle I heard a man’s voice near the cashiers. Have you ever been in a situation where you couldn’t really hear what a person was saying, but you could tell by the person’s tone that they were angry or upset? That’s what I heard. As I got to the front I headed for one of the two little touch screens they have where you can order your food. I noticed a pretty big guy pacing back and forth in the front of the store and he looked ticked. He started spouting off remarks like “I shouldn’t have to wait this long for my food!”. Now, I’ve been in this Royal Farms at least a thousand times and I’ve never had to wait more than eight minutes for anything. Most of the food is pre-made, so I didn’t know what this guy’s issue was. Maybe he was in a hurry or maybe he was just having a bad day.

“I should be gett’n my food for free since I have to wait so long!” he shouted. Of course I’m leaving out some of the more colorful language he was inserting to make his point.
“Nothing in here is free my friend.” The clerk said in broken English. Most of the people that work at this store are from another country and speak with accents. Since I really love diversity, it’s fun for me to go in a talk to the folks that work there. They’re great people.

Apparently Mr. Gumpy didn’t appreciate the clerks response. “All you (insert expletive here) need go back to your own country and learn how to speak English!”

Up until this point I wasn’t looking at Mr. OutwardlyAngry. I was too busy deciding
on the toppings for my hot dog. ‘Mustard…ketchup…relish…cheese…onions…they give me bad breath….but God made mints didn’t He….yeah onions…’ When the Grump Master made this obviously bigoted remark I snapped my head up and glared at him. Maybe it’s because my wife is from South Korea or maybe because I have a low tolerance for ignorant attitudes like this guy had, but his last remark torqued me. My glaring stare was met by Mr. Angryface and he just stared at me as if to say ‘What are you gonna to do?!’

I grabbed my order ticket and stepped back from the counter. At this time I noticed the store had about eight people in it. Everyone was looking very tense and one woman actually walked out when Mr. Meanie followed up with his next little piece of wisdom “I’ll tell you another thing, you people all better wash your hands before you touch my food!”.
‘Gee’ I thought, ‘Wouldn’t that add time to the process? Aren’t you in a big hurry to go beat someone up? Besides I kinda figured the gloves they were wearing would be good enough protection.’ I mean it would be tragic for Mr. RuinEveryonesDay to get sick from food poisoning.

My number was called and I walked forward to pay. By this time I was really annoyed by Mr. LackOfAngerManagment and I wanted to shoot an insult his way. But as I looked around the store I saw a bunch of people that in only a few moments were influenced by the mean spiritedness of this man. Then I looked at him again. I have no idea why he was being so nasty. Bad day? Bad week? Maybe a bad life, who knows. But then I thought what if I just countered his meanness with kindness. Instead of throwing him a dirty look or a put-you-in-your-place statement, I decided to try to bring a little ease to this tense situation. I paid for my lunch and said, in a louder than normal voice, “Thank you guys so much for the food. You guys really do an awesome job!” and then I turned to face Mr. TemperTantrum. I must admit, I hoped that the scene would turn out like this: Mr. Grumpster would have a total change of heart. Bottom lip would quiver and eyes would soften as they puddled with tears of remorse. He would turn to the clerk who was also weeping with pity. They would embrace as waves of brotherly love flood the store.

It didn’t happen quit that way. Instead Mr. IchewGlassForLunch looked at me and yelled “Shut the up!”

I smiled at him and the other people, turned to the clerks who were looking mortified and I said “Have an awesome day.” The lady at the cash register looked back at me and began to laugh.

Now, I don’t know if I made any profound impact that day. Mr. SpongeBobGrumpyPants probably still grumbled until he left. But I hope that at least the workers at Royal Farms caught a little glimpse of proactive kindness. I could have been passive in that situation. I could have retaliated or even called the cops. But instead I wanted to overshadow meanness with kindness.

What do you think? In a situation like this, does it really make any difference?

A balance returns to home...

Lydia has been away at kids camp this week. I knew when she left things would be different, but I didn't know how different they really would be. The ratio in our house has always been in favor of the men, 3 of us and 2 of the ladies. This may seem uneven, but you'd have to know Lydia to understand that even at 10 years old, she equals about 1.5 female. This is mostly prevelant around the dinner table. We usually eat dinner at the table at least 5 nights a week. I love that time with my family. So it's during dinner time that Lydia amazes me at being able to hold her own with my two boys. She can talk, joke and eat just as effectively as they do (although she does eat WAY less than the two horses on the left side of the table). But of course she is a girl and so she does all these dinner time activities in her own unique non-male way. So it's no wonder that this week around the dinner table, things were different. More eating, not much talking and an uneven ratio of burps to giggles. Helen, my lovely wife, misses her girl. Who can blame her? She's out numbered. So with the return of Lydia, the balance returns as well.